


RyDKHOW

by The_Orange_Tabby



Category: I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Crack Crossover, Dallon just might be a murderer, Gen, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm Sorry, I'm finishing this out of spite, Implied Relationships, anyways fuck brendon slurie, look this is crack ok, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24397873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Orange_Tabby/pseuds/The_Orange_Tabby
Summary: Ryan Ross joins iDKHOW. Chaos ensues.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	RyDKHOW

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fun little crack!fic that some of my friends and I are writing. Not true, never happened, never will.

It was a normal day for Dallon and Ryan, who were discussing how they could improve their live shows. Don’t get them wrong- they loved playing music in iDKHOW, but shows could get stressful with only two people. Dallon sighed in frustration, and ran a hand through his hair. 

“What if we got a guitarist?” Ryan suggested, absentmindedly tapping his fingers against his jeans.

“I can play the guitar.” Dallon responded, rolling his eyes. “Though, getting a touring guitarist would be nice- I can’t play the bass and guitar at the same time.”

Ryan shrugged. “I mean, might as well.” He glanced at Dallon. “You are serious about this, right?”

Dallon smiled, always a bit of an unnerving sight. “Yep.”

The next morning, audition requests were already flooding in. Dallon rubbed his temple and frowned. This was a lot more people than he expected, and iDKHOW wasn’t exactly some underground band anymore, he guessed, not since their album was released. 

He took a look at some of the guitarists’ social media and past gigs, and almost choked on his water when he saw one of them. He smiled inwardly. This should be fun.

He then emailed all a copy of the released iDKHOW songs, and laid down the ground rules. They would have a blind audition- and Dallon and Ryan would vote on who they thought was the best.

The day of the audition was soon upon the duo. He and Ryan sat behind a small screen separating them from the guitarists. Dallon tapped his pen against his clipboard and sighed. He knew that this was going to be a long day. 42 people. That was a lot. He glanced at Ryan who seemed to be rubbing the bridge of his nose, having the same thoughts as Dallon.

“Okay, number 1, come on in.”

Dallon drummed his fingers along with the guitarist, nodding at first, then winced when they somehow managed to fuck up the entire bridge. Dallon sighed internally, and scribbled a quick note beside the number. This was gonna be a long day.

  
  
  
  


Taking a break from looking through his notes on the people who had auditioned, Dallon stretched and looked over at Ryan, who was staring down at his own notes with the air of a person who had stopped paying attention to what he was looking at a few hours ago.

Because he felt the same, Dallon took pity and asked, “Any people with potential?”

Ryan stared blankly at Dallon for a second before the words clicked. He rubbed his hand over his face. “Maybe? There are a few people who I think would be able to fit in pretty well, playing wise.”

Dallon nodded. “Numbers?”

Ryan listed a few, reading off a page. “7,12, 23, 29, 31, 42.”

“Huh.” Dallon looked down at his own paper. “We agree on three of those. 23, 31, and 42.”

“Think we should contact them?” Ryan asked, rolling his head and shoulders.

Dallon huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can’t stare at these notes any longer, so yeah, let’s do it.”

Ryan winced as he heard something in his back crack. “Good idea. Should I send them the full versions of the songs?”

Dallon nodded. “Yeah. We’ll do the secondary auditions later. Right now, what I need the most is a nice, hot bath and some food.”

A few days later, Ryan called him. “Hey so one of the guitarists emailed me and said they found another gig-”

Dallon sighed in relief. “Thank god. Now we only have two people to worry about.” Ryan snorted. “I’m not done. Listen to this: the other guitarist apparently came down with some kind of flu.”

Dallon laughed incredulously. “Seriously? Wow.” Ryan spoke again, this time with a smirk. “Yeah, the dude emailed me and everything, said he was sorry-!” 

“So who’s left?” Dallon asked, heading to the computer and scrolling through the randomized names and numbers. 

“Uhh… Oh dude- This guy named Ryan. Ross.” Ryan chuckled. 

Dallon froze. Well, he was taking a gamble when he emailed Ryan Ross the songs- and karma came back to get its revenge. “Ryan… Ross? You’re sure, right.” 

“Dead serious.” 

Dallon blinked. “Oh, the fans are going to KILL us.” 

“Still cannot believe we’re going through with this.” Dallon muttered under his breath. He paced across the practice place, running a hand through his hair.

“Dude, calm down.” Ryan chuckled. “The only thing you should be nervous about is being kicked out of the band because your name isn’t Ryan.”  
Dallon rolled his eyes. “You’d never do that to me.”

Ryan was staring away, a distant and contemplative look on his face. 

“Ryan.”

“Yeah?”  
“You wouldn’t actua-” Dallon was cut off by the doorbell ringing. “I’ll go get that.” Ryan mumbled quickly, then headed to the door.

“Hey, I’m Ryan Ross.” Ryan blinked at the man outside the door. He glanced quickly at his hair and mentally noted that the guy needed a trim. Then he stretched a hand out. 

“Ryan Seaman, pleased to meet you.”

The other Ryan clasped his hand firmly and shook it. “Please to meet you too. Uh.”

He paused, clearing his throat and stepping inside. “Since our names are both Ryan, uh, it could get kind of confusing.” 

Ryan laughed, eye crinkling at the edges. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. We’ll just call each other by our last names.” Internally, he thought that although this Ryan was a good guitar player, he seemed a little bit shy- awkward, even. 

“Well, whatever you say, Seaman.” Behind him, he heard Dallon snort. “Shut up, Weekes.”

Dallon laced his fingers and sat at one end of the table, examining Ryan Ross. He was slightly shorter than Ryan… Seaman. He guessed Ryan- Seaman? Was right. This was going to be a bit confusing. Ryan- Ross. Ross seemed to be a little on edge, shifting against the seat. From beside him, Ryan- Seaman said “I think you’re freaking him out a little bit.”

He leaned over to Ross and mock-whispered “From one Ryan to another, he’s kinda creepy.”

Ross snorted, and his expression eased a little bit. 

Dallon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “So, are you two going to be unnecessarily excluding me from everything now?”

“Who said that, Weekes?” Seaman said, grinning. “I told you before, I don’t have any plans of kicking you out of the band. Although an all-Ryan band would be pretty cool.” Seaman turned and winked at Ross.

“I don’t like calling him Ross. Is there another name we can call him?” Ross huffed. Internally, of course. “I’m not a pet!” He grinned, despite himself. “I gotta tell you guys something. My real name is George.”

“Oh, then it’s decided! We should call you George!” Seaman slapped Ryan(George?)’s shoulder, chuckling. He turned to Dallon. “See? It’s that easy!”

“DON’T CALL ME GEORGE, THERE’S A REASON I GO BY RYAN.”

Seaman jumped at the sudden outburst. “I-” He visibly deflated. “Al-alright then, George. Er, Ryan. Ross. Ryro.

Ryan flinched inexplicably, then quickly covered it up with a blank expression.

“You know what? I think...I think just Ross works.” Ryan squinted, thinking, and then nodded as if coming to a decision. “Yeah. Ross.”

Seaman nodded back. “Ross.” He leaned in again. “We, the two Ryans, will take over the band. And then we’ll take over the world. This will be great, I promise you.” Seaman moved away and watched as Ross’ eyes filled with excitement.

Dallon sighed. "So are we gonna rehearse the songs...or?"

Seaman glanced back at Ross once more. "Yeah. Let's do this."

The rehearsal went surprisingly smoothly, and by the end of it, both Dallon and Seaman were impressed by the new guitarist's ability to learn songs.

Dallon raised an eyebrow and extended his hand. "Welcome to the band, Ross."


End file.
